Trail Talk
There’s just the two of us, you know? Two people; one fiercely extroverted chatty chica, and one magnificently friendly bearded man. Our strengths, as a couple, are most valuable in spaces where shmoozing, and punch lines, and loud storytelling carry the night. If I don’t have to be told “windows down” at least once during our outing, it’s not really an outing worth attending. Needless to say, a socially distant world is not a world where we thrive.
In light of these dire circumstances we are eager to extend an ear for even the most distant eavesdropping. Perhaps too happy to make insignificant small talk when we encounter fellow hikers or patio sitting mates a mere 6 feet away. (Did that couple need to know I prefer Sonoma over Napa as a wine region? No. They had only heard that Napa was close to the Bay Area. That was an over-share. I see that now.) We’re pressed for social interaction. That’s the point; so we’re hoarding trail memories more than ever. Whether it’s our own meandering ramblings in the car, or one of the few convos we happen to overhear, or better yet, even engage in with other people(!!) the trail talk has been pretty stellar.
Feel free to take any and all of the most unforgettable moments below as your own for any future zoom party ice breakers.
Scene: Having a drink out on the patio, and making small talk with a neighboring patron about his time living in Butte.
Patron: Did I see you guys riding unicycles a little earlier?
To be clear - we have never been the couple on the unicycles. But we weren’t exactly surprised that we could pass as that couple.
Scene: B is just skipping rocks while I read and watch.
E: What are the best attributes for an effective skipping rock?
B: It’s about the throw.
Scene: B and I, along with Lisa and Jack, are vehemently trying to avoid eye contact with an obviously crazy camper lady who seems to have taken over the conversation of two other women who she does not actually know and says…
Crazy Camp Lady: And Phil has the crystal skull in one hand, and the real skull in the other, and the energy force was so powerful, he started to levitate.
Scene: Driving to our next destination.
B: We’re hiking and backpacking a lot. You have to pick a trail name. What’s your trail name?
E: What’s a trail name supposed to indicate?
B: It’s what people should call you on the trail.
E: People can just call me by my name on the trail. Why do these people even know my name? Should we not give our names on the trail? Is this like a safety thing?
B: Hun, it’s a fun thing. That’s all. It’s just a fun thing we’re talking about. Just pick a short little nickname that says something about you.
E: Oh. What’s your trail name?
B: Oh my god.
E: Ok! My trail name shall be…drum roll please…”Chatty”
B: Makes a lot of sense.
Scene: We’ve taken 30 steps on the trail when we see two women jogging towards us with nervy eyes.
Nervy Women: Do you two have bear spray?!
Us: Yeah. Did you see a bear?
Nervy Women: Yes! It was right on the trail and we didn’t have bear spray so we just ran in the other direction.
Us: Whoa
Nervy Women: But I mean… he’s probably really friendly!
Scene: It’s an impromptu rock jumping day. Crystal blue waters at the end of a trail in Glacier where people presumably from around the world have communed to enjoy the sunshine and each other’s presence. And we overhear…
Girl (from San Diego): Have you guys ever jumped at Sunset Cliffs in San Diego?!
Strangers Standing Next to Her: We’re from Michigan.
