Campfire Cooking
I always say if we die on this trip, it won’t be because we starved.
Now, I know many of our readers are less seasoned campers…or maybe I should say you are our more metropolitan based readers? In any case, I’m well aware that there is a large swath of the world that believes cooking while camping is strictly a hot dogs and s’mores kind of affair. But I assure you dear young urbanite, you need not deprive your farm to table palate just because brunch is served among the trees instead of near the bus stop. Indeed you need only a DIY attitude and little hankerin’ for a patio style atmosphere!
Ok, so I’ve intrigued you, but you still need some questions answered before you’re willing to believe that people can actually eat well with nothing more than a two burner stove and copious amounts of sunshine. Let me bring some more shape to the situation with the following hypotheticals:
HYPO: You’re on your way to the woods to get some high quality nature steps in when you pass a patio full of similarly Patagonia-clad people seemingly enjoying craft beers and tapas. Can you too indulge in some local libations without undermining your outdoorsy lifestyle cred?
Yes! Always feel free to support the local hot spots. Just make sure to actually buy something before you post it on Insta, k? We understand that when the mesquite sends up smoke signals to come chow down on the homegrown brisket, there’s really nothing you can do except get after it! (See The Great BBQ Tour)
HYPO: Instead of learning how to make your own sourdough, you’ve spent all of lockdown ordering take out from your favorite Burmese restaurant every single night. Can someone like you really cook without the aid of a Blue Apron box and a microwave?
Yes! Practice boiling water a couple times and you’re ready to feed yourself in the elements. Ain’t nobody gonna be mad a dinner made up of Annie’s mac n’ cheese and a glass of red wine. (Yes, of course there’s red wine. You didn’t turn into an animal just because you slept outside a couple of nights.)
HYPO: In contrast to our friend in Hypo 2, you’ve spent the past year renovating your kitchen and purchasing copper pots so you can cook your own 25 hour al pastor recipe adopted from the ancient Mayan cochinita pibil dish you saw while watching your 1 millionth hour of Netflix. Is it possible to cook a multi-step, multi-course, and multi-pot meal to serve on a homemade table (a craft you’ve picked up also in lockdown) just like the indigenous people of the Yucatan?
Alright, tone it down you. Remember this mantra -she who cooks one pot, washes one pot.
So ideally you’re hyped up! You’re scheduling a camping trip with us and you’re confident that the Michelin Guide is willing to at least recommend the food even though the restaurant’s aesthetic is almost exclusively comprised of a steel picnic table and a dirt floor.
But you’re a person of discerning tastes. We’ve established this. You want to see a sneak peek of the menu. One final piece of evidence that you’re not destined to walk in a multi-day food desert with only jerky and sunflower seeds to satiate your hunger. We got you girl! (and guys! we do not respect 1950’s gender norms around the campfire) Below are three of our easy and cheesy go-to whip up meals along with a bonus cocktail recipe sure to comfort even the most cosmopolitan of characters out in the bush.
Because if there are no cocktails, what’s the point of camping?
The Kale Cesar
Just because you’re in the woods, doesn’t mean you should skimp on your greens intake!
Get Your Greens. Take a bushel of kale: wash, chop, and massage. Add some olive oil and a pinch of salt while massaging. This will ensure the kale is sufficiently chewable for human consumption as opposed to a deer.
The Secret Sauce. For the homemade Cesar dressing you’ll need olive oil, mayo, Dijon mustard, finely chopped garlic, shaved parmesan cheese, and the juice of a lemon. Stir all of the ingredients together and salt and pepper to taste. Top with any veggies you fancy!
Want to elevate this campout to foodie status? Add some anchovy paste to the dressing. No one has ever regretted this decision.
Cheesy Broccoli Rice Skillet
Here’s where it really comes in handy to have a spouse who carries around a cast iron skillet in his trunk.
The Rice. In a pot, make some rice. Once it’s done, drain it well and toss it with some oil. Set aside.
The “Broccoli.” Somewhere nearby chop up your favorite veggies. Chop up broccoli; chop up onions and garlic. Got some cauliflower? Chop it up! Chop up your asparagus and chop up your peppers. We called this Cheesy Broccoli Rice, but don’t get bogged down by labels. The outdoors call for improvisation in the kitchen. (Hot tip! Par-boil things like broccoli or cauliflower for just a few minutes before tossing them in the skillet for so you don’t just end up with charred rawish hard veggies)
The Skillet. Now get that spouse with the cast iron skillet, pour in some avocado oil and commence the skillet cooking. We typically pan fry chicken first with garlic, but you can get straight to cooking the veggies and the rice all together if you’re keepin’ it 100% herbivore. Add all desired spices to taste; we like salt, pepper, paprika, Worcestershire, and red chili flakes. Remove the protein, let rest and chop. While the pan is still hot, mix together the rice, veggies, and protein.
The Cheese. ADD CHEESE. Because, obviously. If you don’t add cheese, you’ve completely mess up this recipe. Switch the heat to low and cover with foil.
Once everything is a little crispy, serve up with some hot sauce and a sunset.
Red Chile Tacos
An acknowledgement. We know not everyone is #blessed with a lifetime supply of red chile powder locally sourced from the madres and abuelas of Northern New Mexico. Don’t fret! These are just tacos. Replace with whatever spices you’re able to bring in your camp kitchen, paprika and cayenne are passable substitute. But yeah, we have red chile, so if you want some you have to come camping with us! Make a spice mix with red chile powder, garlic powder, red chile flakes, salt and pepper.
Spice up your life. Typically my mom makes red chile with pork, but I’ve used ground beef on the road because we can get better quality ground beef more often.
Brown some diced onion and garlic in a pot then add in your ground beef to brown as well. Pour on the red chile spice mix.
Proceed to sneeze many times in a row.
We like to cook this in a well seasoned cast iron pan with oil over high heat….outdoors. This spice mix will turn the air inside your studio apartment into pepper spray.
It’s Tacos. You guys, it’s tacos. You get it. Fill up your flour or corn tortillas with sautéed veggies, black beans, and obviously an avocado. Top with your the taco meat and serve with a cerveza of your choice.
Look at you, you love camp cooking!
The Camper’s Cocktail
Hydration is key in the wilderness.
Like the camper herself, the Camper’s Cocktail should be a minimalist, no frills. It should be a survivor; something that will last when tested by the harshest elements. The cocktail should have simple needs and pair well with any weather conditions. And as any camper will tell you, her cocktail should make her stronger after her trials and tribulations within nature.
And so I give you, the Camper’s Cocktail (a tried a true recipe):
Grab a bottle of chilled Prosecco
Add a splash of Campari
Add ice if the outdoor temperature is suitable.
Cheers, sip, repeat
And there you have it ladies and gents. The fundamentals. Eat, drink and be merry! You’re a campfire chef now. Give a howl to the moon and salute to Mother Nature!
